The purpose of getting married is to share your life with your loved one and to live happily ever after, but things don’t always go as planned. As the honeymoon period is over, and the years go by, difficulties arise and these hardships can put a dent into the strongest relationships.
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Whether you’re dealing with financial struggles, infertility, disagreements or even infidelity, these challenges may be difficult to surmount. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by negative thoughts that end up taking a toll on your health, self-esteem and marriage.
You may not be aware of the impact of these thoughts until you fully realize how they affect you.
Stuck in tunnel vision
Negative thoughts are often exaggerated and unrealistic. For instance, if your spouse has been overloaded with work, it’s easy to have distorted thoughts and think:”My spouse cares more about his job than me,” or if you’re going through financial hardship, you may think: “I’ll never get out of this situation.”
Negative thoughts often encompass words like “never,” “I can’t” or “it’s impossible.” These negative thoughts promote tunnel vision, where all you see is darkness and no way out. Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychology researcher, claims that negative thoughts have the power to prevent your brain from seeing other options and choices that surround you.
Victim of emotional turmoil
Not only are negative thoughts irrational and distorted, they may also have an impact on how you feel. If you feel like your spouse doesn’t care about you or that you will never get out of a financial situation, you’ll likely fall victim to an assortment of negative feelings such as discouragement, anger, frustration and even anxiety.
When you’re bombarded with such negative emotions, it can be difficult to be a good partner and have the strength to cope with everyday happenings.
Prisoner of behavior changes
When you’re feeling emotionally drained as a result of negative thoughts, your behaviors change for the worst. Since you feel like your life is doomed, you risk falling into a state of helplessness. To compensate, you may find yourself sleeping more, eating unhealthy foods and neglecting yourself.
You may react in negative ways blaming your spouse or spending more time outside. These behaviors cause your relationship to go in a downward spiral since your energy is so focused on the negative aspects of life.
Change is possible!
Try your best to catch those negative thoughts and work on replacing them with more balanced ones. This gives you more control over your thoughts and puts you into a proactive mindset that can really have an impact on how you feel and perceive your marriage.
To be successful, you may need to learn better coping strategies. For example, Dalton Associates, a company that provides Toronto marriage counselling, can help you master effective coping techniques and better communicative skills, so you can make those positive changes happen.
Once you are matched up with the right therapist, you and your partner will learn how to master the necessary skills to face challenges and develop a relationship based on trust, respect and cooperation.
As seen, dwelling on negative thoughts may cause a cascading chain of events that can easily destroy a marriage. As much as this sounds like bad news, the good news is that change is possible. The secret is to break the cycle of negativity once and for all and embrace positive thinking.
This powerful shift in the way you perceive situations can not only help your marriage, but can ultimately also improve the way you think and live your life.
Savannah Coulsen
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